I am so bringing this style back to the gym,... I may or may not have formally announced my allegiance to a new cult, the cult of CrossFit. Is it amazing? Yes. But somehow I am alarmingly surprised at how difficult it is to be consistent. Every week is new drama, either a kid is sick, there's a trip to prepare for, someone lost a job, someone got a new job, I got a new job, the next kid in the family is sick, I got a foreclosure notice and need to spend 30 extra hours a week working a case to save my home, A disabled person in my home needs further assistance because it's a "hard week", someone in my household was sent to the hospital, some utility got disconnected because I forgot we have bills and threw us off our game for 2 days, the VA appeal case needs follow up, I got sick with what the kids had, or the usual hard to juggle grocery shopping, planning, cooking, learning a new nutrition program, cleaning, actually working at the new job I got, and getting the kids everywhere stuff. Let's not talk about Jewish and American holidays at this point. I have been attempting to make my health first on the list since May of 2011, and yes all of these above occurrences happened in that short amount of time. To a normal human, they would say " well ya! that's hard!" But my inner dialogue argues the fact. Self care should be first. But it's often competing with mutually important self care matters, like "food" and "shelter." Geeze, right! I mean, can't I just not eat and workout like a beast so I can be a ripped homeless woman? Enough excuses. It is what it is. I just want to know how to conquer this dilemma and be there everyday. Discipline. When I am using it to be responsible with so may things at once it feels scarce. Emotional continuity would be a wonderful thing to experience in the midst of all this, but it seems to be the most thrown around aspect. Here is hoping for improvement...
Sunday, July 15, 2012 at 12:12PM 
