I am overwhelmed with emotion today.
I am feeling broken hearted since this morning.
Nothing is wrong per se, but everything is changing. Everyday. And I fear, I worry, I am getting lost. I don’t want to get lost. This old idea of what I thought should be is swallowing me up and I am so unconscious of it, my being just sinks easily into the tide of it all.
I fought so hard to realize a dream, I fought so hard for the souls of my kids, I fought to keep together the best of what I thought they needed and help my husband. I fought for the love I once felt by his side, in those brief moments of our past histories together. I realize it was worth the fight. Finally after so many years do I get to be in a relationship I am enjoying, for the first time in such a really very long time.
Of course I am emotional. Of course my heart is breaking. Of course everything I have ever created and known in order to survive is tumbling down in it’s preparation to let this newness in and rebuild. I am broken, I am so incredibly humbled.
Everything is so unbelievable right now, I don’t even have the words...