It just so happened I needed to change the credit card on this account to keep my blog live that made me reconsider whether I should keep writing. I want to, that is not the issue, so much is going on I am spinning in circles and cannot really keep up. All it took was one person to mention that they read an article and wondered if I had added to it so they could read more, that I felt re-invigorated to keep spilling. In addition to this, my husband of all people, keeps telling his doctors, friends and therapists to check out this blog. The one person I thought would never want anyone over here is the one who outs me the most. I don't know why I am telling you this thought process, but there it is.
We are disappointed today to have received the newest denial of my husband's claim to the VA. It has been a long, extremely drawn out difficult road of torture and agony since my husband got out in 2004. Ten years later we are still trying to get what he needs at a basic level. Survival is a game I have learned to play in contrast to the middle class suburbanites we live amongst who are deciding what new color car to purchase for their collection. Ok, I have no evidence that this is true, life is tremendous for us all. I get it.
My husband just returned from being in treatment for over three months out of state. Our little family did everything they could on our own to stay afloat. I learned pretty quick who our friends (ok friend) was and who clearly wanted to take advantage of my new found vulnerable situation. Now that he is back and re-adjusting we are facing this new decision of the VA fresh out of treatment. I suppose I have a lot to learn about how to file an arguable claim, I also suppose I left lots of room for improvement. Giant ugh. In contrast I also can deduce that they really are not serving us well or keeping their end of the deal to take care of a soldier after he gives his all in combat service. I shouldn't have to have a law degree to get help for him. WTF. War changed everything about his life, altering it to the opposite of what he wished, hoped and dreamed for, not to mention worked for. What all of us as a family hoped and dreamed for. It disgusts me.
In the meantime, since spring of 2014 I have been back in school working on my degree. Cus', obviously not enough is going on at all. I need more. On a happy awesome note, I received a full scholarship to attend that began this fall! So, now I have an awesome reason to continue, even when life gets really tough like it is right about now, not knowing how we will survive without having this claim decided in our favor. It is pretty much therapeutic to have school to work on, it's given me a place to escape to with purpose-building a one way road out of this hell of not having good economic options.
Also, Zoe turned 16 and Sheme turned 12! What the heck!
Ok, I have to go study...