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    hope that no matter what difficulties arise in family, health, or finances, a family can survive it and get to the other side. 'How' is not just one response, rather it's an evolving idea. Solutions present themselves as you go along the path. As you seek the thing it is you want to achieve, so will an idea come to you. I do not attribute it to a god or a religion, though I may have one or both of those. This is life. Hope. Live with me,... 



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    Entries in epilepsy (4)


    Then There Was This One Time...

    Recently there has been a hiatus from my fitness routine.

    I got hurt. 

    It could have been the lifting I did that day, the technique involved, the stress I regularly experience before and after the workout in our daily life, the fact that I had four children, or gawd knows what else. But hurt I was, and still am. Patiently I recover after surgery. Even simple, tiny, seemingly unrelated stresses seem to set me back, this is getting frustrating. But you would not believe what went on during the worst of it. I believe a larger part of my recovery is purely just emotional. After the shit that went down, a friend asked, "Why haven't you run away?"

    2013 started out decent, although we had just experienced the loss of two very important people to our lives in the fall of 2012 and were learning how to do a few things without them, and doing them quite well by now. The routine was coming into it's own quite nicely if you will. My husband was recovering from an injury at this time caused by work, in addition to his previous injuries from the war, so he was receiving ongoing treatment and workmen's compensation for the hours his employer could not provide. He was also beginning the spring semester in college. Overall he was handling the injury well, though it was difficult. Then, a snowball began to form and I think it was destined to roll downhill straight for us. First, he lost his workmen's compensation and began only making half of what we were bringing in, then his GI Bill pay decided to mess up and they were only paying him half of what he was supposed to receive. Two weeks later I find myself in the Dr's office daily for a week trying to find the root of sudden internal pain, when on my 4th son's birthday they decide to admit me for emergency surgery, while on the same day my mom is on her way to pick up our third child for beginning to show signs of seizure activity at school. 

    wait there's more,... 

    As I am trying to ignore the craziness of all that and just survive the pain I was feeling and stay coherent enough on the hydrocodone I was on, a call from the school revealed our second child was being suspended from school for a day because of a bad choice of texting behaviour. Shocked, he is always on point. Not to let too much time go by with actual *peace* in the day, a few days later the doorbell rings at 6:30pm. It's CPS. W T F. I am still completely bed bound and listen as my husband answers the door. He is going full infantry mode and attempting to not allow the agent into the house, then trying to tell her I am not going to be available for awhile. She did not care, she needed him or I to answer her questions now. I was my kid's only chance, of course I went out there to see why she was here. Someone from the school anonymously called concerned about her seizure medication. Apparently, while I was in the hospital and my mom had the kids with her for a couple of weeks, they were asking her important questions. I still to this day don't know what she answered, but I do know that CPS is breathing down my neck now, here, at my house days after the surgery. What makes me angry is that they A) called now?! While I was busted up?! B) Did not bring the matter to my attention a this time and went to the grandma C) Fucking school! Jesus Christ! I feel backstabbed, side-swiped somehow. The worst part is, even though they were called about our special needs daughter, they were required to interview all of our kids. Heartbreaking and so akward, to say the least. They did not deserve to go through that because of some paranoid school staff asshat who can't call my cell phone over a concern they may have. 

    So here we are, making half my husband's work pay, half of is school pay, none of my pay because I couldn't work at the time, and then this. I didn't run away, I couldn't run! I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. I could not even process that all of this was occurring at the time. Now, about 8 weeks out from the medical emergency and physically doing better, it's no wonder I can't get my mind to catch up to what I should be doing. I think I just began processing what was going on,... and it's a hell of a lot to process. I stayed up nights fantasizing about things to say to the school staff whom I suspected did this, tried to think of alternatives to the school I had chosen and thought twice about who I trust. Felt this was embarrassing and heartbreaking, what kind of mom do they suppose I am? What did my mom say to cause such a drastic reaction? Then finances are so difficult and convoluted, so many things need attention like VA paperwork and insurance appeals for Sheme to get her more medicine, and all I am trying to do is just feel better. 

    Then this happened.... 

    Just, wow. 


    CrossFit for All! 

    My daughter, who has left-hemiplegia spastic cerebral palsey amongst many other things, learns how to row! Love my box, CrossFit Cedar Park! Do you know how good this is for her?!! 

    And she is SO AWESOME! 



    Paleo Power! 

    What's food got to do with it? Everything. 

    Speaking from our experience here at home, Paleo eating has helped my husband's PTSD, attention span, depression, anxiety levels, and motivation. It has helped my special needs daughter come ALIVE! She has better behaviour control, improved concentration, she is learning faster than she use to and developing at a better pace, and hopefully more to come. We are experiementing with her food and supplements to help with her epilepsy, specifically avoiding sugars (as Paleo suggests.) Our oldest daughter has lost her asthma symptoms and been relieved of seasonal allergies significantly, as well as improved her immune system ten fold! Everyone's body composition in the house changed for the better, leaning out greatly. I highly recommend looking into it. We are only 6-8 months in and all of this has occurred, I believe we are healing more each day. 


    This Is Real Life

     Its not just packing lunches for school and snapping beautiful moments of the first missing tooth and other tender milestones,... its dented cars from bicycles, tears, more wrinkles, and in this case- hospital stays. Could we be less fortunate, YES! Is it still easy? No. Amariah is in the picture being nursed back to sober health after being totally snowed with hospital grade drugs to end a long ongoing seizure. Three days later we were released. What can I say, except thank you. Thank you to all the wonderful friends in our lives who showed up. I am grateful and astonished. Our other three children had fun and felt comfortable despite being apart from us as we managed sleeping at the hospital, daddy heading in and out of work, and nuturing our daughter. Becasue of them we could focus 100% of our energy to our little girl, no stress, no guilt. Do you realize what a tremendous gift that is? After our return home, I was nutured by our friends with meals for our family, food staples, help cleaning up, and a maid service gift who came in and cleaned the entire place! Again, pick me up off the floor from happiness and surprise. As a mom, having the ability to ease back into a daily routine after such a stressful health scare is golden. I was able to focus on transitioning her back home, watch how she reacted to her new medication, and reunite with the kids after missing one another so much. What an irreplaceable gift...