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    hope that no matter what difficulties arise in family, health, or finances, a family can survive it and get to the other side. 'How' is not just one response, rather it's an evolving idea. Solutions present themselves as you go along the path. As you seek the thing it is you want to achieve, so will an idea come to you. I do not attribute it to a god or a religion, though I may have one or both of those. This is life. Hope. Live with me,... 



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    Entries in acupuncture (3)



    Ascending into the table, trying so hard to stay above it. Clenched, fierce, tough, steel.

    I didn’t realize how much I hate her.


    I didn’t realize how ashamed I was of her.


    My heart begins releasing this pain, my body aches from holding it in.

    Will it ever be resolved? Do I ever get to move from here, to be at peace? Loving myself, just accepting? Not accepting the bad and moving in with it, but accepting the fear, putting light on it, dissolving it?


    Let the thought run down the stream far away from here…watch it float away. Fill your being with one more breath and just stay. Feel that you are here.



    What healing and self care look like for a combat soldier,...

    Learning and finding ways to recover from PTSD and TBI can be a journey to say the least. It just takes time. There is a long list of different methods my husband has employed to find peace and healing, all of which I believe intertwine and collaborate together to create a total outcome. And everyone's list may look different. I will talk about our experience because that's what I know, and it has worked for us. More details on the ingredients to our family healing later...

    Recently a story was put together about Marco's progress with these photos I wanted to share, it gives a great visual to some of the therapies he uses continually. I also love that this place in our journey is archived. It really gives me the photo journalist's perspective, which I appreciate immensely. Sometimes being inside the "foxhole" keeps your vision and perspective narrowed to just surviving. 

    Here is Marco and Echo posing for a photojournalism story by Que Arrington, on soldiers using alternative healing methods. Thank you Que, you did excellent work! 

    Marco at the Samaritan Center where he receives alternative and traditional treatment for PTSD/TBI


    Marco and best friend greeting acupuncture therapist.


    Marco receiving acupuncture.


    Marco relaxing on acupuncture table with very tranquil and soothing music.


    Acupuncture needles being inserted in Marco for therapy and relief of PTSD symptoms


    Marco in session with is counselor at The Samaritan Center, a non-profit non-VA treatment center that helps soldiers returning from combat.



    Marco checking to make sure all is in good working order with an air conditioner, a new job skill he recently learned to help his work atmosphere accomodate ptsd




    Pins and Needles

    "Anger always comes from frustrated expectations"- Elliot Larson

    Three weeks ago, our family suffered another job loss. The third in a year. Three weeks ago, we found out my father in law has stage four colon cancer, he is fourteen hours away. Three weeks ago we received our home loan modification contract that took a year and a half to process, based on the income we just quit bringing in. 

    the vastness of the ocean, anything can happen...I have a lot to learn about family, and how they adjust in adverse times. One cannot just dig their heels in and hope the other fixes it all. We have before us lots of re-negotiating to do. My previous expectations are sailing out the window as I watch and I am having to re-evaluate the roles in our home. Based on skills, health, ability, time allowable, and cost of who can sustain our financial needs best is what we need to look at. Do we share the burden, does one or the other do it all and someone stay home,... what do we do? Logic doesn't always make sense in these cases as people sift through childhood upbringing, desires, dreams, expectations, fears, and loss issues. No, this is a monumental process that is hard work to undertake. And we have support during this undertaking,...

    One of those said supports is my qi gong teacher and acupuncturist. In session he asked "Are you up for some real strong points today?" I said yes. Needles inserted, into meditation, and I am breathing grounding, and trying to let thoughts pass through and go. What kept coming up was expectations, what I had thought our family would be when we first got married, how I thought my husband was indestructible and would never have health problems,...and I had to release them. Now was the time. My heart swelled up, I teared as I meditated, and I envisioned my husband young and strong, and then I let it go. This continued with other things in my life, breathing out and letting predetermined desires be released. Control is such an illusion, we have none. As I came out of my time, I hadn't realized how heavy it felt upon my heart and shoulders... as if a steel rod was sitting across my chest. I had to gather a bit and re-enter my day. Afterwards I asked my teacher "What are the centers you stimulated, and what do they mean?" He replied, "The needles in the palms of your hands lead to your heart, wherein heartbreak is held and releases...."